` Lambda: the ultimate religion — imaginary family values

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The Puritans of the colonial era believed in Calvinist theology, which states that God chose who would be saved from eternal damnation, and if He didn’t choose you, nothing you did could change His mind about your fate. In order to join their churches, you had to convince the church elders that you were one of the Elect, which you did by describing your personal conversion experience; this experience proved that God had laid His hand on your soul and brought you into the fold.

Following this hoary tradition, disciples of God’s own programming language have peppered the Internet with their own conversion experiences. Testify, brothers and sisters!

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