Database rock

23 February 2004

So the other night, I was listening to one of our Schoolhouse Rock CDs, and was struck by some kind of infernal inspiration. Maybe if I publish this I can get it out of my head…

A Field is a Number, Time, or String

to the tune of “A Noun is a Person, Place, or Thing” by Lynn Ahrens

Well, every number you can share

And every time that you can spare

And every string you can compare

You know they’re fields.

A field’s part of a database row

Which records a fact someone should know;

I find it quite interesting.

A field’s a number, time, or string.

Oh, I bought a ticket for the 10 a.m. New York plane.

A man tried to sit in the seat where I was staying.

The stewardess said, “Get off this flight;

“Your plane doesn’t leave ’till 10 at night.”

I bought a ticket for the 10 a.m. New York plane.

Well, every number you can share

(like the number of miles to New York)

And every time that you can spare

(like 10 a.m. or 10 p.m.)

And any string you can compare

(like the name of an airline or an airport)

You know they’re fields.

You know they’re fields, oh…

Mei-Li worked as a clerk at the R.M.V.,

Giving the tests to see whether people could see.

She tested a man with a long last name

And now their addresses are the same.

Mei-Li worked as a clerk at the R.M.V.

Well, every number you can share

(like the “20” in “20/20 vision”)

And every time that you can spare

(like now or yesterday or tomorrow)

And any string you can compare

(like an address or a last name)

You know they’re fields.

You know they’re fields, oh…

Mr. Jones logs in to a bank on Hudson Street.

He left his password for a second where his daughter could see it.

She took all his money out of the bank

And put his credit rating in the tank.

Mr. Jones logs in to a bank on Hudson Street.

Well, every number you can share

(like the balance in a bank account)

And every time that you can spare

(like a second or a minute or an hour)

And any string you can compare

(like the password or the name of a bank)

You know they’re fields.

A field’s part of a database row

Which records a fact someone should know;

I find it quite interesting.

A field’s a number, time, or string.

A field is a number, time, or string.

Later: You can run, but you can’t hide
Earlier: Algebra, Al-Qaeda, what’s the difference?