Don’t let the sun come up on me

14 April 2009

A classic paranormal romance ends with the following dialogue:

Dracula

There is one small disadvantage. We can only live by night.

Cindy

Oh, that's all right with me. I mean, I could never really get my shit together till 7:00, anyway.

Contrast this snippet of narration from a recent novel:

I don’t fry in the sun, but long exposure will make me nauseated and cause skin sores. Much the way I’ve learned a lupus patient reacts to ultraviolet light.¹

It’s bad enough to have all these sensitive and conscientious vampires sauntering around the mediascape, drinking Dr. Van Helsing’s Organic Blood Substitute, but… lupus? Not even xeroderma pigmentosum, but lupus? Whatever happened to creatures of the night?

¹ I know. The bad grammar, it burns.

• Later: Middle matzah mystery
• Earlier: 马 word!